Question and Answer Time

Now I want to open up the "blog floor" for questions that I will try to answer. The questions can be adoption related or you can ask questions about me/my family. Don't be shy! Let me hear from you!!! (This won't be much fun if there aren't any questions, so step right up!)

Your "Own" Children

Adoption Awareness Month (part 6)

**Don't forget about the PJ Party!!**

One of the things that most people may not know but is incredibly offensive (not to mention just rude) to an adoptive family is when people say something about your "own" children. I cannot tell you how many people have asked us if we ever wanted our "own" children or when we're going to have our "own" children. Some of you may not know but I am the oldest of nine children. I have had people ask me why I have had problems having my "own" children since my parents obviously did not.

This implication that somehow Riley is not our own is not only rude but is also ignorant. A child in an adoptive family belongs no less to his parents than one who happens to share his parents' DNA. When you say "own" children in contrasting someone's "adopted" children it makes it sound like the adopted children are just being borrowed or that they are not a permanent part of the family.

Usually when someone asks the questions about our "own" children what they are trying to understand is what led us to adoption and what our future plans are for growing our family. There are other ways to ask this then to bring the term "own children" into the discussion. By simply asking things like "what led you to adoption?" or "do you think you will adopt again?" you are showing an interest in an adoptive family's story in a sensitive way.

PJ Party

Adoption Awareness Month (part 5)

That's right...you are invited to a pj party. An adoptive family from one of my online adoption boards lives in Mexico and work at an outreach center helping women, children, and families in need. Another adoptive family from this same message board has visited and had this to say:

"When in Mexico what amazed me was the poverty the kids in "B's" church neighborhood endure. What's more, in the fall/winter these kids are all running around sick with runny noses and bronchitis because they have minimal blankets and no heat in their houses and in the winter it gets in the low 40's or worse. These kids don't even have warm p.j.'s to sleep in. This last visit one of the kids was given a pair of pajamas. She had NEVER owned anything new or a pair of jammies before and she was so proud of them that she wore them to the Youth group meeting that night. That's right...she went in her jammies. After talking with "B" we discussed what a blessing it would be if the kids in the neighborhood could have one set of warm pajamas for the holidays."

If you would like to donate a pair of pjs, please leave me a comment with your email address and I will send you the address of where you can mail the pjs or if you order online where you can have the pjs shipped! Sizes 2T to 12 are most needed; boy or girl pjs.

National Adoption Month (part 4)

I have begun reading this woman's blog and am inspired by her and her husband's hearts for orphans.

Recently they were interviewed for this show. It only takes a few minutes to watch but I hope it will touch your heart like it has touched mine.

National Adoption Month (part 3)

One way you can start a conversation with your children is to talk through these questions during your dinner time tonight. (This is taken from Family Life's "Cry of the Orphan" website).

Around the dinner table discuss the following: Are we rich, poor or middle class? How do we know?

Read these statements
- 50% of all the workers in the entire world (that’s 1.4 billion people) live on less than $2 per day
- 1 billion people in our world do not have access to clean water
- Does your family own a car? If so, you are among the elite 8% of people. 92% if the world's population does not own a car.
By the world's standards… if we earn more than $2 dollars a day, have access to clean drinking water and own a car… guess what! We are rich!

Read James 1:27 “Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.”

Respond to these statements
- What’s an orphan? Who are the fatherless in our world?
o Orphan – a child who has lost one and/or both of their parents
o In an age of instant communication…of hyper entertainment…of information explosion and saturation…how many of us know that there are now more than 143 million orphans
across the globe?
o That every 14 seconds an AIDS death causes another child to become an orphan?
o That there are more than 118,000 children available right now to be adopted in the United States. Do any of us know an orphan?

- Does God care for orphans in our world? What does His word say about orphans?
o “Vindicate the weak and fatherless; do justice to the afflicted and destitute. Rescue the weak and needy; deliver them out of the hand of the wicked.” Psalm 82:3-4
o “Wash yourselves, make yourselves clean; remove the evil of your deeds from My sight. Cease to do evil, learn to do good; seek justice, reprove the ruthless, defend the orphan, plead for the widow." Isaiah 1:16-17

- Orphans live in foster care homes down our street, in state run orphanages and unfortunately on the street.
o How would your life be different if you did not have a Mom or Dad or both?
o God’s Word instructs us to care for orphans. How would you feel if you were an orphan who felt uncared for by this world? Would God seem real to you in that kind of world?

- How could our family care for orphans in our town, nation and the world?
- What would you be willing to give up to care for orphans in our world?

Closing prayer – “God show us ways we can care for orphans right here in our town, in our nation and around the world. Help us to understand how rich we are in the resources of this world. Give us your heart for most vulnerable in our world so we can make a difference for the orphan.

National Adoption Month (part 2)

Positive adoption language helps to clear up misconceptions about adoption. By using positive adoption language, the hope is that people would be better educated about adoption. Below are just a few terms that are commonly used...spreading misconceptions about adoption.

Just like in all aspects of life, no one says everything perfectly and chances are that when you talk about adoption you may not know exactly the right things to say. But, for me, it means a lot that you are willing to have a conversation about adoption. Through conversations we are able to learn more about adoption, dispel some of the myths and fears surrounding adoption, and hopefully begin to change a world where some boys and girls have no mommy or daddy.

Positive Adoption Language:
Birthparent (positive) versus Real parent (negative)
Biological parent (positive) versus Natural parent (negative)
Birth child (positive) versus Own child (negative)
My child (positive) versus Adopted child; own child (negative)
Terminate parental rights (positive) versus Give up (negative)
To parent (positive) versus To keep (negative)

National Adoption Month

November is National Adoption Month. While we continue to wait for God to add our second child to our family (stay tuned...that is going to be another post at a later date) I thought I would take some time over the next few weeks to talk about adoption and why it's so important that everyone be involved in some way caring for the orphan.

If you claim to be a Christian, you have an obligation to do SOMETHING for the orphan. James 1:27 “Pure and lasting religion in the sight of God our Father means that we must care for orphans and widows in their troubles."

This does NOT mean that everyone should adopt, but I think it does mean that everyone should be doing something to help the plight of orphans. Over the next few weeks I want to share with you practical things that you can do to help. With more than 130 million orphans it is going to take all of us working together, one child at a time.

I also hope that over the next few weeks, that if you have questions about adopting or orphans that you will feel free to leave me comments and I will try to answer your questions as best as I can.

The other day I was on the phone with my friend Christy. When I got off the phone Riley asked me who I was talking to. I told him that I was talking to my friend Christy. I reminded him that Miss Christy is Lily and Lincoln's mommy. He said, "Lincoln was a TALL man! He had a big, big chair."

Obviously, the Lincoln Memorial made some kind of impression on this 2 year old!

Please, GO VOTE today! And, PRAY that God will have mercy on our country. Our children and future generations will be strongly affected by the outcome of the election today. I am personally praying for a miracle. Won't you join me?

Just a few PICTURES from our WEEKEND in DC!!

One of Riley's favorite things--riding the carousel out on the Mall!

Riley fell asleep on our way to the White House. Maybe on our next trip he will see it!



Family picture at sunset


Family picture with McCain and Palin :)


Me and my incredible husband :)

Another fun day in DC! We have been having a great time and have had just awesome weather! Today was so sunny and warm--it has been wonderful! Riley missed a nap today, so he went to bed early (around 10pm...well, it is earlier than last night!).

I can't wait to show some of the pictures we've taken! Today we met MCCAIN and PALIN!! Okay, maybe they were cardboard cutouts but it was still fun to pose with them for a picture! ;)

Some of the other funny things from our trip...

Yesterday we were in the Air and Space Museum and this little boy dressed up in a Super Mario costume came up beside Riley to look at an exhibit. Riley turned toward him and said, "Hey, hey are you Mario?" It was hilarious to hear Riley say that and even funnier to see this little boy who was probably 7 or 8 look at this little boy with an expression like "are you talking to me?" What 2 year old knows who Super Mario is?

Then, in the same museum we got on an elevator operated by a security guard. As soon as we rolled Riley's stroller in he said, "Hey, Mr. Policeman where's your car?" Then, Riley proceeded to tell him that we were getting ready to ride on the spaceship. (Aka the spaceship model that you can walk through in the museum).

Today we went on a Duck tour of the city. It was a lot of fun; we rode in an amphibious vehicle. Half of the tour we were on the road and then the vehicle pulled up the wheels and became a boat and we were on the Potomac.

Overall, it has been a very fun day! Riley was a little freaked out by some of the big statues--primarily Thomas Jefferson, Abraham Lincoln, and Roosevelt. I tried to tell him they were just statues of some of our former Presidents but for some reason he wasn't too impressed.