Immeasurably More

We have been enjoying some time at the beach this week. We have had wonderful weather and have enjoyed good food, good company, and a lot of fun.

As I have watched Riley splashing in the ocean and seeing his huge grin as he is having the time of his life, I can't help but get a little choked up because this is one of the scenes I have always wanted to see play out in real life. In my dreams I saw myself with my husband sitting in the sand watching our child(ren) splash in the ocean, building sand castles, and enjoying family memories like the ones I had as a child. So many times I can still hardly believe that my dreams have come true. That I am a mommy to such a precious child still blows me away.

I cannot imagine loving my child anymore than I do. That he did not come from my body makes no difference to me in my love for him. He is my child, my son, and I am his mommy. We may not look alike and he may not have any of my genes but he is mine and I am his.

When I think of one of his birthmom's requests that we would love him like he were our own it makes me want to fly across the ocean and find her so that I can look her in the eyes and tell her that we could not love him anymore than we do. We love him like he's our own because he is our own--maybe not our flesh and blood--but he is our son and I do not believe any child has ever been more loved. This is the child we have longed for, cried for, groaned for, and now have the privilege of raising. He could not be anymore our own.