From Sighing to Breathing

Sometimes when Riley gets really upset about something I tell him that he needs to relax and just breathe. I coach him through taking some deep breaths to help him calm down, pause, and take a break. Usually this helps him through the crisis he is experiencing and helps him regroup and be able to handle whatever it is that's bothering him.

Last week as I blogged I confessed that I have days where I struggle with trying to do a good job at all of the jobs I have during this season in my life. I confessed that I struggle sometimes with being overwhelmed with trying to be the wife Michael needs, the mom that Riley and Mary Kenzie need, etc...

This past weekend I had the chance to take some deep breaths...allowing me to calm down, pause, and take a break.

This past weekend Michael and I spent time at a marriage conference. It was a breath of fresh air. The conference was held in our town but Michael surprised me with a weekend away from home at a hotel. It was wonderful! Michael's sister Beth and her husband John were so gracious to keep Riley and Mary Kenzie for us. The kids love being with them, and I know they had a fun time!

There were about 200 couples at the conference...all different ages and all at different places in their marriages. One of the points that was emphasized throughout the weekend was that a marriage is always moving. Your marriage is either moving towards oneness or towards isolation.

So many of us get so busy and caught up in the daily grind of life that we forget to be intentional in nurturing the relationship we have with our mate and we begin to isolate. Now that we have kids, I can see that it takes extra effort in nurturing that relationship with my husband because there are so many added tasks and responsibilities that can consume my attention and energy.

It was a refreshing weekend in so many ways, and I am so thankful to have a husband who loves me enough and values our marriage enough to spend a weekend with me at a marriage conference. I think we both came away with a greater appreciation for each other and a deeper desire to make our marriage stronger.

When we stood at the altar 7 1/2 years ago we never would have dreamed the struggles that we would experience as a couple. We both came from very functional families...we didn't have a lot of relationship baggage from the past...we both had a lot going for us.

NEVER did we dream when we stood at the front of the church that rainy night in March the challenges that would come our way. When we both pledged to love each other "for better or for worse" we really had no concept of how that would be.

As we reflected this weekend on the struggles and heartaches and pain we have experienced together, we can see God holding us together. We have learned in many painful ways that we have to lean on God and look to Him for our security. And, through His power, we hope to have a marriage that is strong and a home that is a refuge.