Getting into the Routine

We have now had Mary Kenzie with us for a little bit longer than a week. In some ways it feels longer than that (in a good way!), but it is also hard to believe that it has already been a week.

We are settling into our new normal. Michael went back to work on Tuesday. On Wednesday, Riley, Mary Kenzie and I went to storytime at the library, Chick-fil-A, and Target. Mary Kenzie is still sleeping well...she only wakes one time during the night for a bottle and then goes right back to sleep. This was her schedule in Korea, too, so this is her normal evening pattern. She is still adjusting...I know this will just take time given that she lived with her precious foster family for 7 of her 9 months. But, she is starting to really come to life--her personality comes out a little bit more each day. She is very happy and laid back and babbles all of the time.

Riley seems to be doing pretty well. He is definitely acting out some and seems to need more holding and wants more of our attention than normal, but he really seems to like Mary Kenzie and loves to help me with her. We did have one funny conversation a few days ago. He had his toy broom and dust pan in the kitchen and he said, "Mary Kenzie, let's just sweep you right back to Korea!" I laughed but then told him that Mary Kenzie was here to stay!

I feel like I am just beginning to let myself believe that our baby girl is real...that she is home and in our family...and that the waiting is over. I think it is too overwhelming to think about at first because there are more pressing things to dwell on like is she eating, sleeping, feeling comfortable in our family. But, now I feel like all of those needs are being met and now I am feeling the incredible joy and awe and gratefulness to God for answered prayers that come in unexpected ways and far beyond anything we could ever ask or imagine.

"Picture pages, picture pages"

Last night Mary Kenzie only woke up once. I fed her a bottle and she went right back to sleep and slept until 9! This afternoon when I put her down for her afternoon nap she (for the first time) started to really cry. I put her in one of my carriers and she instantly smiled, stopped crying, and within a few minutes was sound asleep.

I took her to the pediatrician this morning just for a check-up before I take her in for her 9 month check-up and shots. The doctor said she looked great and he could really tell that she had been well taken care of and well loved. She weighs a little over 19 pounds!

Here are some pictures of Mary Kenzie's nursery since Alison asked! ;) And, a few pictures of our sweet baby girl!

Adjusting

We are all adjusting...adjusting to being a family of four...adjusting to parenting two sweet kids...adjusting back to our time zone...adjusting to a new "normal" for all of us. Most of all, I am having to adjust my expectations that every adoption is the same as the next. I know in my mind this is not true...

With all adjustments there are hard things and sometimes things that are easier than you might expect.

Mary Kenzie seems to be adjusting very well into our family. She is a very laid back baby and seems very happy and content almost all of the time. She is very smiley and is a great eater. The biggest surprise of all has been her sleeping. She has been a great sleeper from the beginning. She slept great on the plane during what would have been her normal nighttime sleeping schedule. Her first two nights here at home she has woken up twice each night but after she drinks a bottle she goes right back to sleep.

We have the pack-n-play set up in our room...we had planned for her to sleep in there with us until she got comfortable...but the first night I put her in her crib in her room and she has done great in there and has had no problems sleeping in there.

When a child is adopted and they come home, all of the experts tell you to treat that child as though emotionally he were a newborn. So, his/her first day home with you they would be considered a one day old on an emotional level. No matter how old your child is, because they are starting all over with a new family, they start over emotionally. Just like parents would not allow a newborn to cry until they soothe themselves to sleep, we try to immediately meet Mary Kenzie's needs when she wakes up in the night so that she can learn to trust us and learn that we are her parents and we will take care of her.

All of this to say, that sometimes it is hard to be an informed adoptive parent. Don't get me wrong, I am SO glad for all that I have learned through reading and coursework and talking to other adoptive parents. But, it is hard sometimes to just relax and enjoy the moment without worrying about how our child(ren) are adjusting and coping with the losses that they have experienced.

Right now, Mary Kenzie is eating well, sleeping well, seems very happy and content, is giving great eye contact and in general seems like she is adjusting very, very well. But, it's hard because she really hasn't seemed to grieve like Riley grieved. Riley didn't grieve long but the first couple of nights were full of tears and heart-wrenching grief. Mary Kenzie hasn't had anything remotely like this. Instead, you would honestly think that she has been with us her entire life.

It is hard sometimes not to waver between being so thankful that her adjustment has so far been so easy and peaceful and feeling nervous because she hasn't had any sadness or grief over the loss of her foster family.

I know that it is really too early to say how Mary Kenzie's story will play out, but it has been interesting to see that just like parenting birth children is never exactly the same, parenting adopted children is never exactly the same either.

Both require love and wisdom from the Lord in knowing when to be cautious and aware so that needs can be met and hurts can be healed. And when to relax and just enjoy the simple and beautiful snuggle of a sweet baby who is content to lay her head on your shoulder and trust you to be the Mama that she needed...even if she never knew it.

(For the record, I do put my baby to sleep on her back but she always ends up on her tummy!)

We're home!!

I'm sorry I haven't posted sooner...we are doing great but it has been a crazy few days!

I'll try to pick up where I left off blogging. Our final full day in Seoul we did some more sightseeing. We went to several of the local markets and bought some souvenirs and sampled some of the food. (Well, I tasted something similar to a doughnut...just fried dough with sugar and Michael was more daring and sampled more of the local fare). It was a lot of fun! We also went through the Palace Museum which was very interesting. Afterwards we went and toured one of the local palaces. It was a very full day. We went back to our hotel right after dinner and watched American Idol on our computer and then went to bed.

The next day (Thursday) was the day we would finally get to bring Mary Kenzie home! It was a very emotion filled day. That morning we ate breakfast at Krispy Kreme and then we headed to the agency. We had a meeting at 11am with the president of the agency. It was very interesting to hear the history of the agency and to hear about the love that they have for the orphaned and their desire that the orphaned find families. It was very touching.

Once our meeting was over we had a lunch with the president and some of the other families in town for the week. After lunch was over it was 1pm and we knew we had about 2 hours to kill before Mary Kenzie would arrive. We went downstairs to change clothes and decide what we were going to do. When we walked into the lobby we saw Mary Kenzie and her foster mom and a few other babies and their foster moms. We found out that there had been a slight mis-communication and we were actually getting Mary Kenzie then instead of 2 hours later. This was a great surprise!!

At the agency, the president prays over the babies and their foster families and adoptive families right before the foster moms hand the babies over to their adoptive moms. It was very, very touching. Mary Kenzie's foster mom is very attached to her and every once in a while she would turn her head away from Mary Kenzie and would wipe away her tears...I don't think she wanted Mary Kenzie to see her sad.

After the prayer, we were ushered into the van that was taking us to the airport and Mary Kenzie's foster mom handed her to me. Then, we drove off with her foster mom standing on the steps of the agency watching us leave. It was very, very moving and sweet. I still have a hard time putting it into words. I have so much love and respect for the foster mothers who love their babies so well and who care for them like they are their very own children, only to hand them over to another family not knowing if they will ever see them again. I am so thankful that my baby was given life by her birthmom; that she was given love and nurturing by her foster mom and that her foster mom taught her how to bond so that now she can love and bond to me and Michael.

Once we got to the airport in Seoul, we had a lot of time to just look at our sweet baby, feed her, and begin getting to know our baby girl and her us. We finally got on the plane and began the trek home. This was the part that I was dreading the most. I had no idea how Mary Kenzie would react to us and to being on a plane for 13 hours. Thankfully, the time of day we were leaving was her night time, so she actually slept for about 10 of the 13 hours. The other 3 hours she was very, very content. It was a huge relief when we landed in Atlanta. We had a couple hours of a layover which was good because we had to go through customs and immigration with Mary Kenzie's paperwork.

Our relief was short-lived. Almost immediately after our plane landed a huge batch of thunderstorms settled in over the airport. We saw where our gate was supposed to be. We took the train to that particular concourse. We walked all the way to the gate only to find out it had been switched to another gate in a completely different concourse. I was wearing Mary Kenzie in one of my carriers and we had 4 other bags that were full. We were already exhausted after such a long and emotional day and our 13 hour flight. So, going back and forth between concourses felt like such an ordeal. We finally found the right gate but there was nowhere to sit because the thunderstorms and terrible lightning had caused the airport to shut down and there were currently 2 or 3 flights worth of people sitting at our gate. We walked a little further down and found a few empty seats. We called our parents to let them know we were in Atlanta but that we might be a little delayed because of the storms. We talked to Riley and told him that we couldn't wait to see him that night!

Almost an hour later they announced over the PA system that our flight had been completely cancelled and they had rebooked everyone to the next day. We were absolutely exhausted and disappointed to hear that we wouldn't be coming home that night. We ended up staying in a hotel and were rebooked to the first flight out in the morning to our town. We got to the hotel after 11pm and left around 6am. During that short stay in the hotel, Mary Kenzie slept maybe 2 hours. It was a very long night! After staying in a hotel the first night we had Riley we had always said we would never do that again. So, it was very ironic to be in a hotel room for Mary Kenzie's first night with us and to have no choice but to just be stuck there.

Evidently, there were terrible thunderstorms and lightning just around the airport. Lightning struck the control tower at the airport which is why so many flight were delayed and ours cancelled.

We finally flew home Friday morning and arrived in our airport at 8:40am. It was SO GOOD to see our families and some of our friends! It felt so surreal to be holding my baby as we walked down the airport hallway. The moment I had dreamed about for almost 2 years had finally happened again!

We are doing great! Mary Kenzie is doing really, really well! She has been such a good baby. She has had a few episodes of being sad but for the most part is just adjusting great. She is very laid back and seems to be taking everything in. Last night she only woke up twice. After I gave her a bottle she went right back to sleep each time and this morning we had to wake her up at 9:30am so we could go to Riley's soccer game.

We are exhausted (extremely exhausted!!), but we are so happy and so glad to finally have our family together in the same country and under the same roof!

Here are a few pictures...more to come later! I don't have any pictures yet from the airport because other people were snapping shots, not us, but as soon as I get some I will try to post.

Thank you for caring about us and sharing in the joy of adding another child to our family!

Driving to the airport in Seoul (MK had just fallen asleep...I had prayed that she would be awake when her foster mother handed her off to me and she was. I didn't want her to wake up and not know what had happened. She fell asleep a few minutes later).

Sightseeing

Yesterday, after our meeting with Mary Kenzie our social worker took us upstairs to see the Eastern baby nursery. This is where all of the babies stay until there is a foster family available. Right now because of the new adoption laws in Korea there are a shortage of foster families. So, there were many, many babies in the nursery. Our social worker said they only use pink blankets to make it simple, so while at first glance it would look like there are a lot of baby girls it's really only because there are only pink blankets. There is also a nursery across the hall where they keep the babies who are sick. They have one incubator.

After we left Eastern we came back to our hotel and changed clothes (for our meetings at the agency we have to be dressed up). We went to the McDonald's on the corner where I was adventurous (just kidding) and got a cheeseburger meal and Michael actually was adventurous and got a shrimp burger meal!

We went back to our room and got together our gifts for the agency workers at SWS (where Riley was adopted from) and his foster parents. We also had 2 care packages that we were delivering for 2 families whose babies are with SWS. We rode the subway out to SWS...it took about 30-40 minutes from our hotel. Then, we walked in and spoke with one of the workers at SWS who was very kind and appreciative for the gifts. It was very surreal to be in the building where Riley spent the beginnings of his life. We were so glad to get to see it firsthand.

After seeing SWS we walked to the Coex Mall. This is an underground mall with a lot of restaurants and shops. We ate dinner at a Korean restaurant. It was really good food...interesting but good! We rode the subway back to our hotel and walked into a Korean grocery store to buy some ice cream!

We came back to our hotel room and crashed for the night. (Actually, before we crashed we watched Monday night's episode of "24" on our computer!) We slept in this morning until 6:30am...it seems like we're getting a little more on Korean time.

After our breakfast at the hotel, we are heading off to Namdaemun Market for some shopping and some more sightseeing!

We've met Mary Kenzie!

Our first meeting with Mary Kenzie went really well! She is even cuter in person--if that's possible ;) Her foster mother is a sweet, sweet woman. She said she is really going to miss Mary Kenzie.

Mary Kenzie did not seem shy at all... she went right to Michael and I and cooed at us and smiled some and seemed very content in our arms. The foster mom said she really doesn't seem shy much anymore.

She has 8 teeth--4 on the bottom and 4 on the top and evidently she loves to bite!

The girl has some wild hair! I am just glad she has hair for bows! :) The social worker said they try to get the foster moms to put headbands and hairbows on the babies when they meet their parents for the first time, but our foster mom told the social worker she wasn't going to because she is beautiful on her own...without the bows!

Evidently, she is very attached to her foster father. She is crawling and cruising the furniture. She was a lot smaller than I thought she might be...her cheeks are absolutely kissable!

Mary Kenzie's foster mom gave us 2 albums of pictures of her from when she was a little baby until now. She also gave us a beautiful hanbok for her!

We won't see her again until we leave for the airport. We are free until Thursday at 11 at which time we go back to the agency and meet with the president of the agency and then have lunch with him. Afterwards we will be free until Mary Kenzie comes at 3pm. There will be a prayer and blessing from the president of the agency and then we will head home!

Unfortunately, we did not bring the right cord so we can't show any video footage of our meeting, but here are some pictures! It was so wonderful to finally see our precious girl!

24 hours later...

We are in Seoul!!! We have now been up for almost 24 hours and we are feeling it! We had a great flight...everything went very smoothly. We were served lots of great food and the time went by fairly quickly. It is now 4:15pm here in Korea and our goal is to try to stay awake until at least 7 or 8. We'll see if we can do it!

It is pouring rain. One of the drivers from the agency picked us up at the airport and dropped us off at our hotel. The hotel is a Korean hotel...it is very clean, not too fancy but comfortable.
The view outside our hotel window


Our room

The teeny-tiny bathroom


The driver from the agency brought us a note from our agency that said that our first meeting with Mary Kenzie will be tomorrow morning at 11am (10pm Eastern Standard Time). We are so excited!

UPDATE: Well, it's 8:30pm here...we made it trying to stay awake! We went to an Outback for dinner...it is pouring rain here and extremely windy. We got soaked on our way to the restaurant and again on the way back. Hoping tomorrow is less rainy!

Heading Out!!

Our bags are packed...the dog is at my brother and sister-in-law's house...Riley is at his Grammie and Granddad's house...I *think* we're ready!

Click on this for our travel and return plans if you missed the earlier post...

We would love to have you pray for us...specifically that our flights would be smooth, that we would stay healthy, that Mary Kenzie would have as smooth a transition as possible, and that we would really be able to enjoy each minute of this experience and our time in Korea.

Riley went tonight to stay with Grammie and Granddad (Michael's parents). He was very excited about spending the night with them! I know he will have a blast, but I already miss him! I cannot wait to see him again Thursday night.

We will try to blog as much as we can while we're in Korea, so please check in for updates and hopefully pictures and video! Now, time to try to get some sleep before our 4am wake-up call! :)

Travel Plans finalized!!

We will be heading out on Sunday morning (very, very early!) and we arrive in Seoul Monday afternoon. We are pretty sure our first meeting with Mary Kenzie will be sometime on Tuesday. And, then we fly out of Seoul Thursday evening around 6:30pm and we get home the same evening (because of the time change!)...Thursday evening around 11pm!

If you live in our town, you are welcome to come to the airport (we're flying in and out of our LOCAL airport)...if you have any questions where that is feel free to call or email us or our parents, we just don't want to post names of where we'll be on our public blog. Please know ahead of time we won't be passing Mary Kenzie around...we need her to know we're her parents and we don't want to overwhelm her with a lot of people holding her. BUT, we would LOVE to see you when we get off that plane! :)

Off to finish packing and cleaning... :)

TRAVEL CALL!!!!

We just got our travel call!! I am in tears and filled with joy!!!!! I cannot believe this is finally happening! We're planning on leaving on Sunday!!! More details to come!!!

Maybe tomorrow...

No travel call today, but there is always tomorrow! I did find out that Mary Kenzie's visa has been issued, so that is GREAT NEWS! What that means is that at the embassy in Korea, her visa was issued and they let her foster care system know that she is completely ready now on the Korean side. Her foster care system (Eastern) should now be letting our agency in the United States know that everything is completed and that we are free to come and get her! We are soooooooo close! We are really hoping to get our call this week and if we do, we are planning to fly to Korea this weekend!

Today I have a few more things to pick up to give to her foster parents...I'm going to make a run to Sam's...pick up a few more things for our trip...and get some more packing finished.

I am having such a hard time sleeping because I am so excited and anxious about when we'll get the official word. We've been told that we will get our call by 10am (our time), so all night I wake up hoping that it's almost the morning so that we have a chance of getting the call. I know that I am crazy...this is probably my last few nights of good sleep...but I am so ready to have my baby home!!!

Visa Interview--woo hoo!!!!

I just called DC this morning and instead of the same old answer of "her packet is still at the agency..." I got a wonderful new answer of hope, "well, it looks like her visa interview is scheduled for tomorrow at 1PM!!!" We are SO EXCITED!!! The visa interview is the very, very last step before a baby can come home! Sometimes the travel call comes the very day of the visa interview, sometimes a few days later...usually no more than 2 weeks later. SO, we are officially on standby anytime now to get our travel call!!!

I need to go pack!!!!! :) :) :) :)

Blue

I know that there are a lot worse things going on in life right now for other people than us not having Mary Kenzie home yet. I know that there are families in the midst of adoption processes who would give a lot to just know who their babies are. I know that God hasn't forgotten me, and I know that His timing is perfect.

BUT, I just want her home. I just want to scream sometimes about how unnatural this is to be separated by a 13 hour time difference from my baby. I just want to cry sometimes (okay, a lot of the time) about how sad I am as each day goes by and she's not home. I also just want to cry because after next Sunday, we will have managed to miss every single "first holiday" of Mary Kenzie's first year--Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, and finally Easter.

Sometimes I am overwhelmed with feelings of how I am going to make it through another potential month plus of waiting. Sometimes I just go and sit in her nursery and dream about the day when I can finally rock my sweet baby girl. Other times I have to pretend that there isn't a nursery in our house, oozing pink and polka dots and hairbows, because the thought that I am missing another day without my baby home is just too much for me to stand.

We are just on the brink of the earliest time frame we were quoted for expecting our travel call...so nothing bad has happened; we were never given any expectations that we would be traveling to bring her home before this time. It's just that we have now known about Mary Kenzie for 80 days; we have been in this adoption process now for 22 months; and all of my life I have dreamed about having a daughter...so it truly feels like we've been waiting for almost forever.