The Flower

Today we were eating lunch at one of our favorite places and there was a sweet lady handing out flowers to all of the moms. It was a very nice gesture, and I'm sure completely innocent.

But, I couldn't help but feel self-conscious as I carried my flower through the restaurant to our table. I couldn't help but wonder if there was anyone in there who would give anything to "qualify" for the flower. I couldn't shake the feeling that I don't deserve to be a mom anymore than any of the other ladies out there who find their longings still unfulfilled; so why me?

I do know that on my 4th Mother's Day tomorrow, I can honestly say that I am still in awe of what God has done for me...how God has made me a mom and blessed me beyond my wildest dreams with Riley and Mary Kenzie. I can still remember the pain of my infertility...of my unrealized dreams of being a mom for so long. But, now, I can see His faithfulness in the lives of my two precious ones and wouldn't trade one second of my pain because without it I would not have the children I am called to mother.