Real Life

I knew the day would eventually come. For some reason I thought we probably had a little more time.

I was shopping in Gymboree earlier in the week, trying to redeem my Gymbucks, and Riley went and sat down like he always does at the little children's chairs in front of the tv. I ran into one of my dear friends and she had her little ones with her. There was also another little girl that we didn't know who looked to be 4, maybe a very young 5. The kids were enjoying themselves; I was browsing through a rack and said something to Riley. The little girl we didn't know asked Riley who I was. Riley told her I was his mommy. She then told him, "That can't be your mommy. Your skin doesn't match. Where is your real mommy?" Riley just looked at her like she was crazy. I overheard her asking him these questions and said to her, "I am his real mommy." She argued with me and said, "You can't be his real mommy. What happened to his real mommy? Did he grow in your belly?" I looked at her and said "He did not grow in my belly but he is my son and I am his mommy."

I am an adult and I am not naive. I expect these kinds of questions from time to time. I chose to adopt my children knowing that conversations like this one would occur. But, knowing all of that in my mind doesn't make it any easier. It's hard knowing that other kids are going to say things like this to my kids and that those comments are potentially going to make my kids insecure, embarrassed, and/or uncomfortable.

All I can do as a mom is help my kids know what to say when others challenge them on who their family is. I can do my best to instill in my kids the truth...that they are loved and that we would not trade them for a million babies from "my belly." Most of all I can pray for them and pray that God will give them a confidence that comes from Him and that they will never doubt who they are or the worth that they have.

That night in Gymboree I just wanted to scoop Riley up, run out of the store, and protect him from questions like this for forever. I know that I can't do that. Until he is old enough to speak for himself, he is watching and listening to the responses that I give. Thankfully, from the very beginning, we have told Riley his story. He knows where he came from. He knows how much we prayed for him. He knows that the day he joined our family was one of the happiest days of our lives. And he knows that while he didn't grow in my tummy I am his mommy...forever.